To my dear future master:
I am a student preparing to go to graduate school which is one of the tops. I come from a strict, conservative but reasonable family. I am more introverted, but like to go out and play. I’m generally a more cautious person, but sometimes I can be bold. I enjoy traveling, I like delicious food, and I also like to try new things. I hope to find a gentle and considerate master to become my first man, take care of me, train me, and take me into the world of bdsm. I have the certification from a gynecologist that proves that I am still a virgin. I can show it to my master before our first night.
From a very young age, I often imagined to be captured, tied up, or be put into a box covered with plastic wrap and sold as an item. When I was young, I didn’t understand what that meant. When I grew up, I started to realize that I might be a natural submissive. When reading visual novals, my favorite scene is usually the bad ending of the story that the female lead imprisoned by his lover, and literally become his sex toy. I also bought a handcuffs and told my friend that it was just for fun, but when we were messing around and he put that handcuffs on me, my heart aches. To experience that feeling, I often wear necklaces and bracelets. I bought rope and studied a little shibari how to tie myself from the internet. You can see those photos from my profile. I secretly took them at late night avoiding my roommate. Also I would secretly spank my butt, but try not to make large sound so that my roommates wouldn’t find out. I like collars, handcuffs and fetters. I used to bought several collars myself, some of them were cute and pretty and one of them were actually for dogs. But I never feel satisfied since I don’t have a master to hold my chain. Without a master, the collar is just a ring around the neck. Wearing my own collar doesn’t give me the sense of being owned. I feel so empty, and this is why I desperatly feel that I need a master.
My favorite way in BDSM is dominance and submission. I enjoy the feeling of being completely owned by my master, humiliated by master, and been used like an object. In my sexual fantasies, I fantasized about forgetting the identity as a human being and become a pet and a sex toy with nothing but master’s cock in my mind. I like it when master drags my chain, reminding me who I belong to in various ways. Such as always wearing a collar when there is only two of us; such as unreasonable punishment, since master defines reasons. I imagined being hold into a cage and I beg for master to touch me and take care of me. I also imagined wearing sexy clothes and keep a remote control sex toy in my body. Every time master give me the order, I have to kneel and let master check my pussy, then get punishment for being too wet or not enough. I also imagined about master enjoys me in every ways in front of the guests, and then generously invited the guests to “play” with me and enjoy me. I also imagined about master fucks me when his guest comes to visit, and both master and his guest completely ignored my existence like master is just holding a cup of coffee. There is also a sexual fantasy I like to have about being put into a box with only my butt outside. It has vibrators and sex toys next to box for master’s guest to play with my butt. Showing them how well master trains me. I would enjoy master shows me to his guest. I will get so excited and proud if master‘s guest says that I look like a normal good girl but master trained me into a very nice fuck toy.
I hold these impulses deep inside my heart. I will go to pornographic websites to look up keywords like “auction”, “training” and “slave”. My recent favorite was a Japanese AV about girls running away from home got captured, valued and sold as sex toy. I have been very cautious about relationships, and I always afraid that if I have a boyfriend, he won’t accept this hobby. It ended up I never had a boyfriend. But over these years I’ve been wanting enter the world of bdsm more and more. This is why I desperately wanting to make some changes.
I’ve always been fantasizing that one day my great master would appears in front of me, take away my virginity and make me completely realize that I am just a sex toy belongs to my master. I then completely belong only to him forever. I am a little afraid of pain, and I have no sexual experience. I heard that it hurts, so I hope my master could be gentle and progress step by step. About BDSM, I am always willing to learn and try.
Your slave, Nikki ♡
